


That Fluttery Feeling

by CGotAnAccount



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Brotp Kidge, Cryptids, Drabble, Gen, M/M, SHEITH - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 13:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16493168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGotAnAccount/pseuds/CGotAnAccount
Summary: Keith had been bouncing that stupid rubber ball on the ceiling for twenty minutes.“No really though, Mothman definitely has Big Dick Energy.”Keith and Pidge discuss the important things in life.





	That Fluttery Feeling

Keith had been bouncing that stupid rubber ball on the ceiling for twenty minutes.

“No really though, Mothman definitely has Big Dick Energy.”

Pidge snorted into her textbook, rolling her eyes at Keith from her nest of cans on the floor.

“How do you know the species even has a dick or the concept of BDE?”

Keith scoffed, twisting from his place on the bed where he laid with his legs propped on the wall, and looked at her askance.

“Pidge.” he said reproachfully, “BDE is a universal concept that has nothing to do with genitalia.”

Lance clicked up the volume on his mp3 player.

Pidge tossed a handful of fritos into her mouth, regarding Keith thoughtfully while she chewed.

“Okay, I'll bite,” she crunched and shot him a finger gun, “Why does Mothman have BDE?”  
The thudding of the rubber ball slowed as Keith's brow furrowed in thought.

“Firstly, the name.” He ticked off on his fingers, shooting a 'duh' face her way. “MothMAN. Like He-MAN. Or... whatever. You get the point.”

Pidge raised one eyebrow and held out her hand in a wobbly 'eh' motion.

“Secondly!” Keith steamrolled over her misgivings, “He's been blamed for several disasters without even being completely confirmed as having been present.”

“So has every minority group ever.” Pidge muttered, rolling her eyes.

“Most importantly!” Keith plowed onward, flopping over onto his stomach for dramatic eye contact, “Mothman definitely fucks.”

Lance sputtered and clicked up the volume again, frantically texting Hunk to come save him when he got out of his lab.

Pidge raised her other eyebrow, raising a can to taking a sip of a frighteningly blue drink.

“Evidence?”

Keith sniffed dismissively. “I've seen the fan art.”

Pidge spat her mouthful over the carpet in front of her.

“Keith.” She wiped her mouth with her already sticky sleeve. “You can't call cryptid fan art an accurate representation of ability to fuck. They draw ponies with hentaicles.”

Keith flapped a hand at her, unconcerned.

“No, but combined with the reports that he could be on bridges at a scene and then below the scene seconds later... he must be mostly lean muscle.”

Pidge squinted at him, unsure whether to be horrified or impressed by the level of thought put into this.

“Or... he's a moth.... and flew.”

Keith made a dismissive hum at her logic.

“Either way, most cryptids are famously horny- vampires, werewolves, sirens, demons... it would be remiss of us to not include the possibility.”

Lance's face looked like he'd been sucking on lemons as he gathered his papers up, determined not to make eye contact.

“Hunk is out of lab,” he yelled loudly over his music, “So I'm going to go.... away. From this.”

He gave them a look and a half as he shut the door to the dorm.

Pidge and Keith just shrugged at each other.

“Well,” Pidge adjusted her glasses without missing a beat, “What about Nessie then?”

“What?!” Keith squawked, giving her a look of disbelief, “Definitely doesn't fuck, There's like only one left.”

“Inconsequential.”

He gave her a flat look.

“Flippered marine mammals can't reproduce asexually and can't very well masturbate.” He spoke slowly as if talking to a small child, “Typical T-Rex arm dilemma. Seems pretty consequential to me.”

Pidge lobbed an empty can at his forehead, cackling when it bounced off with a hollow noise.

Keith scowled at her and rubbed his forehead.

“Okay fine.” He hummed in thought before snapping his fingers, “What about... Bigfoot then?”

Pidge didn't even bother looking up.

“The existence of the furry community makes that covered ground.”

“Fair point,” Keith concedes with a tip of his head, “But really you could make that argument about anything, there are a lot of monsterfuckers.”

Pidge snorted and eyed him over the top of her glasses.

“Like you?”

Keith had presence of mind to look thoroughly offended.

“Excuse you,” he began haughtily, jabbing a finger in her direction. “I am exclusively Shirosexual, and unless you want me to tell him you called him a monster...”

Pidge shrugged, unapologetic.

“He does have freakishly large muscles and a robot arm. If this was a generic movie he'd probably be cast as some roided out lunk that dies as canon fodder.”

Keith gasped, clutching his hand to his chest.

“You take that back! His jawline is a blessing and every protrusion of his body is perfect.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “And I'm telling Matt you were picking on Shiro.”

Pidge shot him an annoyed look.

“I don't kick puppies.” She itched at her hair a little and checked her fingernails for dandruff. “It was commentary on your proclivity for fucking things that can snap you in half at will.”

Keith sighed wistfully before slumping back onto the bed, dizzy at the thought of it.

“And what a way to go.”

He rolled and grabbed his phone, blood flowing both ways as he tapped out an invitation to Shiro to join him later.

Pidge eyed her remaining cans of acid and wondered how many it would take to kill her on the spot.

 

 


End file.
